by Manuela Timofte

What is the difference between flattery and appreciation? Which do we like the most? Most answers will be probably, “It depends on the circumstances”. But do we need to be completely different in different circumstances? Are not our choices dictated by reason, interests and fears? What about our emotions?

We all like to be thanked and appreciated. And yet, how hard it is for us to do it sometimes, how hard it is for us to say words of appreciation as if we are losing something…

If we really lose something, they are just pieces of our egoism, because it does not like to say such words as “I like it”, “thank you”. They cause it pain because they make it feel weak and humiliated when it sees itself as big, strong and powerful.

If we peel away that superficial layer of egoism, each of us feels when the appreciation is sincere, coming from the heart, just as we feel the sincerity in the children’s eyes because it is led by our inner truth and sincerity, our inner wealth.

At the opposite pole of appreciation is flattery. It is also a form of appreciation, only a false one, required by the norms of society, and yet we can believe we are appreciated. It is not for nothing that we say and teach our children “that’s beautiful”, “that’s how it’s done” because “that’s how everyone does it”.

Generally, we use flattery towards those we see as bigger and more important than us because we are afraid of the idea of ​​power with all the repercussions that we imagine exist or have been instilled in us through the patterns of society. However, that power is external, but the basic one is the power within us, in what we have in our soul.

The idea of ​​loss is another reason for flattery. In this world, there is no true safety beyond the fact that we are breathing at this moment. In addition, nothing is lost, nothing is “forever”… Everything changes, everything transforms because “Nothing stands still, everything moves, everything vibrates”. Kybalion

Appreciation gives and brings joy because it is part of each of us. Whether it is a smile, a touch, or a kind word, they come from the goodness and beauty of the soul and can be given to anyone, not just those of the same blood.

The difference between appreciation and flattery? It’s simple. One is sincere, the other is not sincere. One comes from the heart, the other from the teeth. One is not selfish, the other is selfish. One is universally appreciated, the other is universally condemned.

Dale Carnegie

We love sincerity in any action of others, and we can also like flattery but do you feel good after it or will try to hide what you really feel?

However, how about giving thanks, appreciating everything we have, and what is offered to us, not forgetting to do it or considering it is something we deserve? How about appreciating what we have around us, whether it is things, nature or people and their work, regardless of the status they hold?

Thank the earth for all it offers you, thank the sky for the rain that nourishes your earth, thank the sun for the warmth and light of your home and your land, thank the moon for the peace of your sleep, thank the stars for watching over your sleep, thank the mountain for the advice and iron you take from it, thank the forest for everything you take from there, thank the spring for the water you drink, thank the tree for the works it shows you, thank the good man who brings you joy and a smile on your face.

The Laws of Zamolxis

What would a world look like in which we could follow Zamolxis’ advice?

Appreciation belongs to our true self, while flattery does to our lower self. When, how and whether we use appreciation or flattery is a decision that belongs to each of us.

Love, Manuela

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