Please stop romanticizing Twin Flames

Dr. Lisa Vallejos
Nov 20, 2018

As I wrote in the article, “The True Purpose of Twin Flame Connections”, the purpose of these connections is not primarily romantic. It is far deeper and more powerful than that and yet, as a spiritual mentor to Twin Flames, I can’t tell you how many times people focus only on the romantic aspect which is to the detriment to the connection as a whole.

Twin Flames are spiritual growth and transformation incubators. They are here to shake you up, and wake you up and to serve as a catalyst to growth. They are not here to give you tingles and zings (although they can and often do) and if all you focus on is the feel good stuff, you’re missing the depths that are available to you.

Your TF will trigger you in ways you can’t even imagine. It’s as though they are shining a flashlight into your darkest places and forcing you to see what’s there. They are showing you all the unhealed, wounded, and shadow aspects within so that you can integrate, and ascend. When you obsess about Union or romanticize the relationship, you can actually delay your healing and stop being able to come together in Union.

This is a path of learning unconditional love*.

Can you love them without attachment? Can you love them without needing them in your life? Can you love them even if they choose to be with someone else? Can you bless them even when they don’t “deserve” it?

Because as long as your “love” is attached to them being with you in a certain way, it’s conditional. As long as you can only love them when they are with you romantically, you aren’t loving them. Love is allowing someone the freedom to choose their own road, even if that road takes them away from you.

Twin Flame relationships are about growth and service to humanity. It’s about rising in consciousness to shift paradigms and heal the world and while these connections can reach a place of ascension that allows for all the toe-curling, lovey dovey stuff you’re dreaming about, that often takes a lot of work and growth to achieve.

This connection is NOT the ideal love story that people fantasize about. It’s not always going to be the dream love connection you want because people always have a choice and sometimes, people choose a “safe” or less challenging love connection.

Meeting your Twin Flame will not fix all your problems. They won’t “complete” you. They won’t magically ride in on a unicorn and make all your dreams come true. They won’t be the bandaid for all your hurts. In fact, they may rip off all the band-aids you’ve placed and will expose the pain you hide.

Their most sacred service to you is to show you where you’re hurt, so you can heal. Please don’t miss that gift because you want it to be something it’s not.

*This is NOT about accepting abuse. That is not love. If your person is in any way abusive to you, it’s important to love yourself enough to set boundaries and walk away if that’s what’s required.

Dr. Lisa Vallejos
https://medium.com/