Dr. Nandi Hetenyi
January 23, 2018
We all long to speak our truth, and are so deeply moved by those whom we witness to be deeply living out their commitment to truth-telling.
They channel truth straight into the goosebumps on your arms. This inspires us and lights a fire in our souls to do the same. Some of us move forward. Some of us stay more close to the truth of our fear, resistance and comfort zone.
What is our mixed relationship with truth? We have this deep, bone-shaking desire to deeply live in and speak our truths, and yet it is terrifying on many levels at the same time.
Holy trembling. Fear of Self. Death and grief. That last one… we really don’t like to talk about that.
Holy trembling. Allowing the divine source energy of your soul to run through your body as you deeply dive into expressing your truth. There is that holy trembling, and it’s a big one. It’s bigger than just being nervous. It’s a beautiful one. It’s the bone-shaking, soul-quaking, vein-flowing-with-fire kind of trembling that lets you know you’re going in the right direction.
That is what stirs and inspires you into your deepest knowing.
It is who you truly are.
Then, there is this. The fear of who you truly are. The fear of your true power, the potency of your innate, good nature, and that everything will have to change if you really decide to own it. It will. You may be cast out of your older scripted roles and repeated plot lines, sent away from places you didn’t really belong to in the first place.
There is something else though. Something deeper, something we aren’t supposed to talk about.
If we surrender to what we deeply know to be true, the truth of who we are, and the truth our soul yearns for us to put forth in expression, then we will have to die to our old self, to our small self, to the world as we knew it and the life we were living before. That safe world. That safe, complacent, easy version of ourselves. That predictable and easy life with all the dreams, ideas and fantasies filling up vision boards.
We will lose out on a world that was constructed on the false promise of safety, ground, and the illusion of permanence. That world which sucks out our aliveness. We will lose that.
We fear truth because we fear death and grief. Yet, this is the completely liberating quality of truth: it opens the heart.
If you want to open your heart, you must face the truth of why it was broken, why the great wall of your heart was constructed in the first place.
The truth that when it opens, a flood will first arrive, but it’s impermanent, because this life is impermanent. Everything is. Sometimes this is very good news.
The truth that when you share your true soul, it will shake up the walls around all of the hearts in the world… and things will change. We cannot stand in truth and desire transformation without change, without the death and the grief. There is nothing to fear, these are the necessary tools to liberate ourselves into a galactic life here on earth. Truth will return you to the ecstasy of your own heart.
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi