Take Courage to find YOURSELF
The only things that stand between a person and what he wants from his life, are his fears and the lack of faith that everything is possible.
What is courage?
Courage is defined as “ also can find definitions of courage as lack of fears. I would say that courage is not the lack of fear, but winning over it.
As many people from my mother country do, I left it many years ago with the wish that something better is somewhere else in the world. So, I lived, worked and studied in another country for a period of my life. Leaving my mother country and going abroad, I was told that I have courage, but the real truth is that I had a lot of fears – fear of lack, fear of not having enough, of not being good enough, fear of being judged, fear of being punished … Lots of fears.
For my last job abroad, I was travelling by train and metro every week day around 1 1/2 hours one way. I really loved that job and the environment I found there – a lot of young, wonderful people coming from different countries. One day going home, I realised that my place was not where I was, for even if I have material things and money, it is not what I was longing for. I realised that there is something most important, something above money and everything, something I was looking for: myself.
But I knew that “You cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.” (William Faulkner)
I have been very much encouraged to leave my country to go somewhere in the world to live, but I have been very much discouraged to go back. Telling people around me that I return to my mother country, some of them called me “crazy” and “stupid”, told me to think of what I have, what I loose, the difference of currency.
I was aware that going back, I have nothing what I had before, I have to start again from the beginning but I knew that where real faith is, things just fall into place. I also remembered my grandma’s words “following your heart, you will never die hungry”.
I also understood that running away in the world, I do not change anything, for I am the only responsible for my fears. They are not somewhere there in the world and my escape is running away. My fears are always inside me and wherever I go they are with me for I carry them with me as long as I do not want to face and sort them out. Actually, I am the only one responsible to change my inside world and do what I really want.
A friend told me “going back, you have courage to do it!” Is it courage to follow your heart? For me, it is something we all have within us and lead us to doing what we like doing. It is what happened to me. I would say that my heart was longing for doing what I wanted, what I was supposed to do where I was born, to be who I really am, myself. I would say that I just stepped over all my fears I had before and followed my heart. I knew that all money in the world would not make me happy as long as I am not happy with who I am. So, I returned to my mother country. Even if I love the whole world, I have a special feeling for my little and wonderful country. No matter how it is, I belong HERE and NOW. Probably that you, dear reader, can feel the same way for the place where you are born, too. No matter how long you spend far away from your birth place, you may feel in your heart that you belong there. You can have the best job, be loved by everyone around you, but that special feeling of belonging to a part of the world, where you are born, is the best feeling ever. It is, if you want, the feeling of a special love for that tiny part of the world.
I needed years to understand that I am the only responsible for my fears and to understand that I was only looking for who I really am – myself. And I am truly myself here, where I do belong. Now, I know that if I am not doing what I feel, I will live the rest of my life with regrets of not doing what I wish, and life seems to be too short for living a life of regrets instead of living my desired life. E.E. Cummings says:
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are”.
I “grew up” abroad and became who I really am – myself.
It is in YOUR power to find who you really are – YOURSELF!
With all my love,