Dr. Nandi Hetenyi
Aug 24, 2018
There is no experience in life that would ever require less love. This land, these hearts of ours are have been deprived of the deepest, most nourishing kind of love for a long, long time. This is the inheritance of grief and trauma we must transform by learning more love, not less.
We must dig deep into the earth of our bodies, to discover the bones that love is made of. The bones and rocks and minerals and compost and darkness and void space that gives the ingredients that births life into the light, gives the structures of our wings and the space for our lungs to breath.
Love is not bypassing the nature of the totality of life, offering our own inner selves conditions. This part will do, that part will not do, this part must go away or be cut off, this part must be made bigger, or let’s put a mask on this part. The mask of unconditional love when we hide from parts of ourselves that have never, ever felt or known love.
This is our pain. There was no love. At first, it can sting, feel to bright or appear like a moral stranger, this love thing. It purifies and stirs the pot, but it also brings in the balms of compassion and understanding, curiosity and forgiveness…our attention and presence. Bone deep love doesn’t look away, but cracks open and grows deeper.
This is the kind of love we haven’t yet learned how to give ourselves, to give back to the earth. That is the bone deep love we must muster.
More love to our grief, our rage, our fear. More love to the bypassing, to the running away and the grasping. More love to our broken bodies, illness and our pain. More love to our joy, delights and our desires. More love to our hunger and shame. More love to our gifts. More love to our light and our darkness.
More love to the hearts standing in the rain.
We must learn the ways and teach each other the ways of this love. Yes, heal the wounds of our past and then to turn inward and ask, how can I offer myself, this heart, this child, this innocence, this soul, this human being more love and not less while gazing inwardly towards your soul?
We don’t always get to know why things are the way they are.
More love. Not less.
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi