Dr. Nandi Hetenyi
March 29, 2019
We are taught that happiness exists sometime in the future, that part of being productive is pursuing endless dreams of promise, and there is a subtle way even gratitude is a covert cover-up of a deep hunger for something more.
It is very hard to be here, in the now, and love ourselves.
Dissatisfaction is a disapproval of what is. It spreads out everywhere, making for a cruel world, both inner and outer.
We are trained to disapprove of our humanity — bodies, emotions, unique quirks, the stories living and breathing through our bodies, even the strength residing within our vulnerability.
When I do dream/journey work with clients and we travel to spaces where wounded ones — inner child, mother or father — live, there is a wanting to turn away. Fear. Loathing even. Can we just fix it? Shift it? Make it go away?
The deeper underlying question seems to be more along the lines of: I do not like how I feel and I don’t know what to do about it. It is not acceptable. It must go away. Can you get rid of it?
We are conflicted. Aren’t we supposed to feel good all the time?
Do not compare your insides to the well-curated images of others pulling for you to see what they want you to see to uplift how they want to feel about themselves.
While on a more spiritual, universal level it is true that our innate nature is one of love, oneness, joy and bliss, on a very human level we experience many, many emotions. Most of us have trauma. Our hearts have been neglected. There are challenges to being in the daily flow of life.
Focusing on happiness in the future trains us to feel like the now is not worthy of love. That we must wait to be rewarded with love. When we’ve earned it.
We are here, living in bodies that are living and breathing records of every single experience we’ve ever encountered, felt or survived.
When we are bold enough to become present, to draw our mental energy down into the body, there we must feel all the things that had us leave and take up residence in our heads in the first place.
Coming home requires a little house-cleaning.
Throwing away the old ways of inner rejection and abandonment.
Learning new skills of tending and curiosity.
Kindness. A highly underrated super power.
Cultivating compassion for all you’ve survived.
Allowing the body to reveal her stories so you can release them back into the womb of the cosmos in order to give birth to a new story.
A story where you learn how to offer your inner heart warmth, attention, tenderness and time.
Being present with what is is a muscle that needs to be strengthened. There is a quality of presence we must cultivate as we deactivate the ways we were mothered or fathered that had us believe we could only live with our hearts in exile.
Our chronic dissatisfaction and hunger can be eased when we no longer feel like we are living in exile inside of ourselves, and realize that we don’t have to prove anything or live as a persona.
That longing to come home is the prayer to return and take up space in your body, feel your spark that is beating your own heart, and learn to hear the rhythm of whispers from your soul bones.
We are all here to embody a different archetypal flow of consciousness. Funny that our culture is all about the individual while subtly pressuring us to be the same.
The personality that identifies with the light, then projects out the darkness onto others and judges them for not being conscious enough. The personality that identifies with the darkness, then projects its own light onto others and envies them for it.
This split is the arc of what we are all here for. We have something invaluable to offer each other if we stop expecting everyone to be like us.
Consciousness is the totality of all that is. We are here to be different expressions of life. Like the trees and flowers and animals and qualities of blue we find in the sea.
We are full spectrum.
Body is presence, the living sacred text of your life.
Healing the soul wound is about tuning into the frequencies that are here to help you awaken to You, out of the trance of dissatisfaction.
Heart pulling you towards more love, tugging mind towards her inner bosom.
When mind learns to serve the body, it will be a divine reunion. Time to dream ourselves awake.
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi