March 7, 2018
Let me start by acknowledging the masculine and feminine within each of us, and know that this letter is not necessarily from woman to man, though some parts do suggest as such, but rather from Divine Feminine to Divine Masculine regardless of gender.
Let me be the first to apologize. You have spent too many years on this planet almost lost in a sense. You have blindly felt your way around the open spaces of love, looking for the right way to go about it. In some cases, you have been met with great reward, and in others, you were reminded of how far you had yet to come.
This apology comes from years of being told how you can do it better, not telling you anything at all, and for those times where well-deserved gratitude for your efforts was not expressed.
It appears that you are in the midst of an epic struggle. On one end lies healing the wounds of our ancestors — the men who showed that violence and aggression were the answers. The ancestors who let it be known that feminine meant weak and that tears made you some kind of a loser. Then there is the other end of this struggle, where you seem to be healing the wounds of the mother. Those emotional scars from when you were young, when you were told not to be so clingy or soft. Moments when you were begging your mother for love, but were met with resistance instead of open arms.
Let this apology sink deep into your double-stranded DNA, and hear me when I tell you that I am sorry you were not given the proper nurturance and love you so deserved when you were young. I’m sorry that your parents did not understand how to show their love for you due to their own emotional woundings and pain.
My dear, sweet Masculine, I apologize to you for the verbal and emotional lashings you have received from others. For those times when you have felt trapped by the Feminine or misused by her in any way. Oftentimes we forget that underneath the bravado is a sensitive being who sits in waiting.
I will be the first to admit that I have used my words negatively towards you at times, and I know that they pierced like a knife as they erupted out of my field.
I am well aware that love cannot erase words spoken in the heat of the moment, just as it cannot delete actions performed unconsciously, but hear this in your bones when I say we all have much healing to do, and some of even my most conscious sisters still have yet to touch base with their own shadows and pain.
My sincerest hope is that you can not only read these words, but truly hear them and let these letters flow into your bloodstream to start the rebuilding process within your cells. I hope that you can hear the empathy expressed in and between the lines, and know within your deepest heart it comes from a sincere desire to help you heal.
But, beloved, can you hear me when I say this too? You do not have to be so hard all the time.
You can let down your armor. You can allow your vulnerability to come out of hiding. You no longer have to fight your way through love, but rather just let love in. Let her see you in all of your wounding and let her love you there. Let her apology be the first taste of the elixir your cells have long craved. Let that soft syrup fill the spaces that you think are not worthy because you have been fed that story your entire life.
It is time to spit out that poison, beloved, and drink from her instead. She is within you, waiting for you to ask. She longs to hold you in your pain, and begs of you to let love lead the way.
My brave, Masculine warrior, this is the anatomy of an apology.
Let us start anew within her womb and bring forth a new paradigm of love.
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