May 28th, 2018
Sometimes in life, we feel so much for someone that we think that it will never go away. That there will never be a day, a week, when we don’t feel about them. Never a week, a month, when we don’t feel that we should have done things differently. Never a real, satisfying amount of time without feeling that there is maybe another way possible, another thing to do or maybe another hope to feel.
Sometimes in this life, people connect with us so profoundly that we think it will never go away. That never, anyone will make us feel that same way. That never, we will be fully free of it, detached, liberated. That somehow life in a way or another will always be connected to it, even if slightly. That there will always be something, even if insignificant like a song, reminding. That somewhere a cord will always persist and that there will always be apart of us, even if small and easily controlled, that will feel about it, wonder or think.
But as we precisely go through it, feel all which desires to be felt, process the beauty as well as the ache, as well as the questions. As we precisely dive in the feelings, try and stumble, travel and heal the layers – something ends up changing dramatically.
One day, we end up feeling that what we thought wasn’t accurate.
Actually, all wounds could be healed.
Actually, progressively, we think less and less about it, wonder less and less. It is undeniable that something is progressively shifting, until it fully does and we eventually wake up thinking – it did.
One day, we realize that life was more fair, less violent than we thought. That it could be back in all its magic and wideness, fully.
One day, we end up feeling that those things and that story mattered, a lot even, but that it is now finished. That it has now taken the colours, detachment and distance of those other things, those things we’ve truly said farewell to.
Not the past like something which comes back in loops, spiralling, from time to time but the past like completed.
And so, we understand that life had planned it all – the ache as well as the recovery – the fall as well as the rebirth. We understand that life was kinder than that, than this process, and that life knew that we could make it.
Sometimes, we have to go through all the feel-s of something, to be fully back. But if we do, if layers are shed one after the next, one day something shifts.
Our energy is back. Colours are free, again. Music and streets, and hopes and goals, and even dreams have no past, no link, no cord to it.
Life starts to move, one more time, freely, like a bird which doesn’t have to come back to a given tree or nest, to a past dream. It starts to move and flow like before it happened, before it started, before we were hit.
Our thoughts are refocused, redirected. And our Heart becomes free, available, cleansed, green, liberated.