Dr. Nandi Hetenyi
August 27, 2018
The unknown is filled with infinite possibility, but it also serves as a mirror, a crystal-ball kind of guide towards the parts of ourselves we are the most afraid of, the parts we haven’t felt and the parts that fear the letting go into the current that is life living through us.
We do not know how to find ground on the shifting tectonic plates of change if we have not made friends with grief.
Grief does not last forever, yet we are so afraid of it that we are more likely to create an endless suffering for ourselves by staying stuck and wishing for some magical outcome in the future.
We architect our own magical future by doing the work of letting go, the work of courting grief and entering the void, making friends with the parts of ourselves that we meet there and integrating the lessons we have learned.
It is in the unknown that we become free.
It is here.
This is the unknown.
Freedom does not live in some future that we envision for ourselves.
Freedom doesn’t come when we finally get ourselves tweaked enough as measured by external things proving our own worth and our inner work as valuable or worthwhile.
Freedom is only ever here in the present moment, within our own hearts and our current circumstances.
It is in how we respond to how we feel, to our innermost lives, to others and to life itself.
It is in how we respond to grief, pain and our soul-wounding.
We cannot escape our soul wound.
The soul wound is the core part of being human that we each face in our unique ways. We cannot get rid of it.
Our soul wound becomes the source of our suffering or the source of our freedom.
We can turn in on ourselves or we can channel that same energy into the highest versions of ourselves, which can only ever be found in this present moment of opening our hearts to all that we are.
The places we struggle and suffer are the places longing for love.
It is in discovering the graciousness of our own hearts towards ourselves that the reins loosen and become more and more free. Not as a destination, but as a lived, moment-by-moment experience that isn’t weighed or measured by anything other than the joy we find where we can love ourselves regardless of what is happening in the world around us, what we have, the love in our lives, or the resources that ebb and flow.
This may be simple, but it is not easy.
We are not taught how to navigate the uncomfortable complexity of simplicity, how to be uncomfortable or embrace grief as an ally of an open heart.
We are not taught that grief is love.
Stuckness and fear take the same amount of energy as courageously moving forward into the unknown. It can feel really scary sometimes, because so is being human sometimes.
Any change in our lives can feel like death in our system, and here it is we must learn to grieve, to embrace the impermanent nature of life and who we think we are.
We idolize our own rationality, but at the end of the day it’s the very thing that causes us the most trouble because it distances us from our hearts. It is our hearts that we must rely on to keep us connected to love, which is truly the most potent pulse of life.
We are silly creatures. Humans. Potent. Powerful. Fragile. Vulnerable. Beautiful. Wonderful. Free. Simple, but not easy.
Dr. Nandi Hetenyi