Many times in my life it has occurred to me to feel guilty about certain things, certain changes I have made to myself and things around me. I was told that I needed to stay consistent in everything I do, to change nothing. Ok, you need consistency in your life at one point, but at the same time everything is constantly changing, nature is changing, the sun rises and sets, nothing at this moment is as it was earlier. The world is constantly changing, transforming. Why would I want to have the same job, to learn the same things, to stay in the same place?
Is it because in our believing system we see ourselves as “failure”?
Looking for changing your place, your job, things around you, it is not because you are a failure. You are looking for something else, for you know there is something better, something more for you. You are looking for Yourself.
Believing that you are limited at some things in your life, you believe you cannot be or do more, and you become “your own” failure.
Failure is an inevitable part of our human experience. It is the ingredient that gives flavor to our life, as pain does, and most of the times when you do not change anything is because of fear, for
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
I would classify that fear as:
- fear of failure and criticism – that makes you living in a fear state without trying anything, but living in pain and blaming others
- fear of trying – that makes you try and give up easily, for you believe that nothing is possible without “luck” or help from “someone” higher than you are. In that way, you stop trying at some point, to travel on the road of living the life you want it.
- fear of not trying – that makes you live with curiosity and action, failing, making mistakes, but making things happening, as Thomas Edison says: “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”
Although I have worked for more than twenty years as a teacher, I remember that at one point, I had a strong need to do something else, to make a change. I was afraid at the beginning and tried to postpone or give up the idea of leaving a sure job, a warm position, when somewhere inside me occurred the idea: “nobody could do it for me”. I left my job and went to the UK, where I worked in different positions. I have started as a carer assistant. The change was a big one, for I started working at “a low level” as others told me, living in a new culture, with other rules than I was used to, but I decided to do the best I could in everything I do. Then I worked as a kitchen assistant, a student support worker for young people with epilepsy, and before leaving the country, as part of the IELTS administration team.
I have never been ashamed for working, no matter what, for working is not something to be ashamed of, no matter what position is. Only making changes you can learn lots of things about Yourself, and about others. Changing things about you, you are not a failure but you choose a way of learning and teaching yourself that you are good enough for everything you want to try and live in your life. It is a way of understanding how many things you are capable of doing.
Moreover, in that way, I knowI would not die crying for living my life with doubts, for I lived in that way many years and I know that
“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will.”
See your actions as attempts and experiments, because you are not born all-knowing and nobody is. We all learn, and only accepting “failing” as part of your life, you can live the life you wish to. In addition, failures are your steps on the road to succeeding.
I left every job not because I am a failure of living my entire life in the life term position, but because I was feeling I needed to make a change in my life. I was afraid many times because I knew I was not good enough, but at the same time, everything I did was from curiosity and made me move on, on my life path.
I can also say that at some point in my life I understood that everything I do is for “I have nothing to lose, but only to win”, that what I do not do, no one will do it for me and no one will live my life if I do not live it. No matter what others say, I know I cannot give you a sure formula for not being a “failure”, but I can tell you for sure: try to please Yourself and do the best you could in everything you do.
Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links. It means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a small portion of any sales at no additional cost to you. I only share products I like, have ordered, and products I want.