Everybody wants to be better than others. Why? What for? “Better” is always subjective. Better than who and what? What is the limit where we can start seeing that? Ego and the negative experiences make you feel you are not good enough and there is a need to prove you are better or worthy than others.
I am, know and do better than you do
When I was working as a psychologist, one day, a man came into the office I was sharing with two more colleagues and was carrying a file with him. He asked me to review the file. Checking the documents I told him that following the law that file was not complete, for he needed more documents to prove the diagnostic stated in there. He told me “sorry, you do not know who I am“. 🙂 My answer was: “I know you are a human being and do not care what position you have, for the law is the same for everyone no matter what your job is.”
Calling the City Hall or the ministry for information, the person who answers does not greet, even if she speaks on behalf of the institution where she is working at that moment, but she sounds very upset and raises her voice when she is asked to tell you her name. Is it because they feel they are different than the rest of us? Do they feel so good because of the position they have in an institution where they “serve” people?
In one of the conversations I had, a lady from the Hd City Hall said, “I do not know what position you have, but I know what position I have. I apologized for “disturbing” her and asked her: “do I have to be someone to have the right to ask information I am entitled to as a citizen? I am a human being and live in the same city and country as you do and I have the right to have access to that information.
In the same position as a psychologist, I learned more about how much people can see themselves better than others and be transformed by the power of money. I was asked by my manager to fill a file with no documents requested by the law. I refused. She asked me to sign and use my stamp on a blank form, for she said: “I do the work as long as you sign it”. Of course, my answer was “no” again. Another day, I refused again to sign a file with lacking documentation. The doctor who was in charge of that day recognized the name on that file and asked me to fill it because he had a higher position than I did. I said “I do not do it,” he took it and asking me “how dare you defy me?”, asked my manager to fill it the way he wanted.
On one side, we are taught to “know” that we can be “someone” to have rights as those rights have been divided into “someone’s rights” and rights for “nobody”. Additionally, we are taught to follow directions and do things by people who have never experienced those things, do not work or want to do those things, but they judge others how good or bad they are. They consider themselves invincible when dealing with people in lower positions for they feel better than them. But the same people feel small and not good enough in front of someone in a higher position, for they see others better than they are. In that way, we keep comparing each other and there is “someone” who is always better. Moreover, we are also taught to be rewarded in varied ways of being better than others.
On the other side, you can feel within you that you have done all the best you could, which in my opinion is doing all you are capable of at that moment in that place, but it happens to you to be judged, blamed or fired because you did not reach someone else’s expectations. Actually, you could not feed the ego of that person.
In my opinion, You can either like or dislike what someone else does but you cannot say that he is not better in what he does, as long as you do not do or know how that thing is working, for you do not have experience of doing that. Therefore, how can you be better than others and others than you?
As I have already said, money and a job do not give you value, because you are born being worthy and you and I, and everyone else is a human being created in the same way and we will learn everything we want in this world if we want to.
We can live without comparing to each other and see ourselves through our eyes, not through what we work and how much we earn.
How to live without comparing?
- do what you feel that is right for you, not for your ego
- help others when they ask you for your help
- do not help without asking or being asked for, for people believe you want to prove you are better than they are
- do the best you can at any moment
- respect yourself for who you are
- consider everyone as equal, for we are all born equal
You are the best version of yourself in what you know and do, for you are unique. Consequently,
“I don’t believe you have to be better than everybody else. I believe you have to be better than you ever thought you could be.” (Ken Venturi)
A better you is always inside you, for no one is better than YOU!
Do you believe you have to be better than others?